Detach for Inner Peace

Detach and Be Free

We get wrapped up in the lives and problems of others, especially relatives and

close friends.  How can we be helpful without being harmful?  It is always a

conundrum to know what to say or do when someone is having problems of

any kind.  

What if we love them and detach? 

Let them know we care, they are loved and ask them to let

us know when and how we can be of help.

Here is an informative link to Hazelden Press newsletter with several

tips on how to detach with love. 

The newsletter refers to a book: “Addict in the family: stories of loss, hope and recovery” by Beverly Conyers. 

Detachment is ultimately for anyone who is “attached” and worries

and frets  because detachment means doing your best by loving and

then surrendering no matter if the problem is alcohol, overeating,

or any number of issues.


Sally McKirgan


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Appreciation is happiness

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”

Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

Take a minute to sit down and think about what you really appreciate about someone or something.  Your partner, a friend, a family member, your pet, garden flowers, a visit by a butterfly or whatever comes to mind.  Let your mind fill with gratitude.  It is an act of love.  I recently was petting my son’s dog, and I thanked him for taking such good care of my son and for loving everyone in our family.  Is that silly?  Why?  The dog appreciated it.  He wagged his tail and smiled.  You don’t have to tell someone or something about your appreciation but they will “feel” appreciated if you do.  Your thoughts are enough and your demeanor will reveal it.  When you give you also receive.  Love is contagious.

There is so much simple wonder we miss each day because we are so preoccupied with our busy thoughts and or plans for the future.  Slow down, take a minute to breathe deeply and appreciate the love you hold within your mind.  This is a gift you give yourself


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A Drop in Visitor

Dragonfly Surprise Landing


This is the huge 4 -  5 ” dragonfly that visited my garden today!

The stick was put there to hold up some petunias that preferred to

droop onto the patio.  What a beautiful surprise visitor.

I rushed for my camera with the hope that he/she would stay

for a another minute.

I crept up, zoomed in and got this one shot and then off it went.

Its take off was audible and I felt the “breeze” it left behind.

Just yesterday, I looked at that stick and the wilting petunias

and thought it was time to move them to the compost pile.

I didn’t and am glad because you never know what will land

on a silly stick.

Note: Dragonfly symbolism can denote self transformation;

removing doubts that one casts on his/her sense of identity; a renewed

sense of self discovery and removal of inhibitions.  They also

can travel up to 45 mph.  No wonder I felt its take off!


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Blue Jay Blessings

 There is a blessed relief that washes over us when we feel loved. 

A blue jay recently bounced onto a flimsy oak branch

outside my window with an acorn in its beak. 

It flew to the ground and hopped around the garden

looking for just the right place to store it. 

A few minutes later it was sitting in the pear tree, sans acorn. 

I know it is storing food for the future but it is also

taking care of my little yard and our planet too. 

I feel loved and I appreciate its beautiful blueness.  

I see its actions extending beyond its everyday duties for the good of everything. 

Maybe tomorrow I won’t feel loved but if I can stop and recall the blue jay,

and the goodness inherent in you and all living things, the love will return. 

I am reminded of Love’s Presence daily if I look for it rather than the opposite.

Changing our thoughts can change our mood and our life.

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A Butterfly Encounter

A butterfly landed on a large sunflower leaf in my back yard.  I ran for my camera hoping it would stay put.

It was a windy day but it held tight.  I crept up slowly taking pictures and holding my breath.  It flew away but came back to the same leaf!  I got more pictures.

It is probably not that rare to capture a butterfly but what was it that sent me running for my camera.  The thrill I guess.

Maybe it is the same thrill the hunter has when shooting game?  Anyway I didn’t kill it and did not have to dress it, skin it or tan its hide for my wall.

I could have tried to capture it for my grandchildren to see but what would that have taught them?

Better to take pictures and not injure one of natures beauties!  I still have the encounter in my mind to cherish and it blesses me constantly when I look at the pictures.  It’s called guilt free hunting!

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Go to  to see pictures of the butterfly!


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Playing Football for Peace

We are indeed fortunate to have a Pacific Rim Bowl football game between the Japan All Stars and the Ashland High Grizzlies this Friday, July 31st, at SOU’s Raider Stadium.  The opening ceremony begins at 7 and the game at 7:30.  The ticket price of $8 will go towards Ashland High returning to Japan for a game in the future.  Support football for peace at SOU!

What a beautiful expression of peace through playing, joining, sharing and yes competing but with good will as the base, the touchstone of hope.

You can also join the Women’s International League for Peace and Freedom in a week of ceremonies and remembrances coming up in Lithia Park, the Ashland Plaza and other sites to mark the deaths of 129,000 Japanese caused by the attack on Hiroshima on Aug. 6 and Nagasaki on Aug. 9, 1945, resulting in the end of World War II within a week.  

Observances begin at 8 a.m. Thursday, Aug. 6, in the grassy area at the entrance to Lithia Park. 

Perhaps by memorializing the past and playing games for good will, could cause a war free future.

Sally McKirgan lives in Ashland and facilitates the Ashland Daily Tidings Inner Peace Column.  Send 600 to 700 articles on all aspects of peace to her at


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The Ego Challenge

EGO by Jim Hatton  (Excerpted from Ashland Daily Tidings Inner Peace Column)

Your Ego is a set of thoughts that define your universe.  It likes a familiar room built of thoughts you see the Universe through its windows.  You are secure in it, but to the extent that you are afraid to venture outside, it has become a prison.  You ego has you conned.  You believe you need its specific thoughts to survive.  The ego controls you through the fear of loss of identity.  To release these thoughts, it seems, would annihilate you, and so you cling to them. –unknown.

Sometimes it seems like the ego will fight to the death to hold on to its existence, to this extent it has the appearance of a life of its own.   Could this be the real, or at least contribute to, the survival instinct?

Indeed the ego is a familiar set of thoughts, a sort of inward set of mirrors reflecting back to us what we think we are.   This is much like our outward mirrors comprised of the people and situations around us.   Both reflect back to us that which we call “I” in the physical experience, the personality.  This is both good and challenging news.

Read the entire article in the Ashland Daily Tidings July 25, Inner Peace Column to find out what is both good and challenging.

Jim Hatton lives in the Rogue Valley and is the author of “A Spiritual Master’s Guide to Life,” available at  

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The Love Hormone


The Love Hormone by Dorothy Vogel

Have you heard about the “love hormone?”  

I, for one, had not heard of this phenomenal little hormone, tucked somewhere in the hypothalamus, until last week.  Ordinarily I am not the type of person who goes running to WebMD to find out what’s going on in my hypothalamus, but when I heard it hid a love hormone, I suspected it might hold a secret to further happiness. 

Read the entire article at the Ashland Daily Tidings Inner Peace Column -Here is the link, or paste in browser.


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Choosing not to condemn

My condemnation injures me!  Really?

Realizing that the condemnation I might heap on another can injure myself is hard to believe but let’s investigate it further.

If I hold a grievance against someone for something they did or didn’t do and I avoid that person, crossing the street, or going to the other end of the store to avoid them means I am not free.  

I am in a sort of pain and don’t want to recognize it.  As long as I see someone as ________ (fill in the blank) my mind is locked and a locked mind is suffering  and it is not free, even though it may not realize it. 

When I condemn someone I am the prisoner.  I am the prisoner of my own judgment.  I am projecting _______on them rather than recognizing it in myself.   I project out onto someone else, something distasteful; not recognizing it is within me as well.

When we decide to choose peace, we commit to be being truthful with ourselves and acknowledge the condemnations when they come up.  And they always do!   Do I want to give up the condemnations/judgments in order to have peace?  Yes I do!

Crossing the street to avoid someone is a wakeup call.  It is a call to stop the condemnation and recognize it is time to change my mind about this “enemy” that I have not wanted to recognize.   We look at the problem, see it, let it go and do not UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES accept guilt in its place.  Then laugh! 

The book A Course In Miracles, says in lesson 198. Only my condemnation injures me. 

“Condemn and you are a prisoner of your thoughts.  Forgive and you are freed.  This is the law that rules projection.  Forgiveness sweeps dreams away.  Forgiveness is a dream too but it breeds no others.  Illusions now end.  Forgiveness is the dream of waking.  It is God’s plan.  You hold the answer to your problems in your hands.”

The method of forgiveness that works for me is to sit quietly, eyes closed.  I visualize the person in my mind.  I see myself embracing them and saying

“You are loved along with me.  We are equals; we are equally loved by our Creator. I hold you in the light of love.” 

When we commit to choosing peace we are vigilant for the little condemnations that arise in the mind.  When one comes up say:  

“Ah ha! Gotcha ego.” And do the work to free yourself from the silliness it is. 

To read or hear lesson 198 go to and click on workbook lessons and then the list.  When the lesson comes up click on “hear”

Keep watching your powerful mind and thoughts.

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Give Love; Receive Gratitude

Have you ever given something away and then received very little thanks?

How do you feel?  A little slighted, annoyed, or angry at the ingratitude?

We all have, but when you stop to think about it, it is up to you, to decide “how” to feel.

When you realize that your thinking and or feeling about the ingratitude

is ALSO being given to yourself….STOP!

When we give – we also receive!  You are holding yourself prisoner if you

decide you cannot be happy unless you receive lavish thanks.

You are giving release to yourself if you decide it does not matter if your

gift seems lost and ineffectual.

The only part of your mind that cares is the ego and it is not who you are.

The gifts given were also received in your Heart;

the Heart your share with God and they were acknowledged there!

God blesses every gift you give because every gift contains Love and that you share with God.

When you give a smile to someone, whether it is received and appreciated and returned  does not matter.

It was received by your Mind .  When you give Love, it is received by you because it is in your Mind.

When you give you receive.  When you give disgust you receive disgust.

When you give forgiveness you receive forgiveness.

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  • About This Blog

    The Inner Peace blog is a place to share wisdom about peace practices and inspire, learn and explore all aspects of inner peace. A team of writers will discuss varied qualities –€” intuition, courage, fearlessness, friendship, forgiveness, gentleness, giving and receiving, tolerance, faithfulness and kindness –€” that help us all through the tough times, the challenges, the joys and the sorrows with inner peace as the ever-shining goal. Whether 2 or 92, your inner peace is up to you.
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