Letters You Will Never Send: The Art of Journaling for Self-Awareness and Healing

When many people think of writing, they unfortunately often think of their dreaded high school English class or the research paper they suffered through in college.

But, what if writing can be used to transform your life? What if writing can heal?

Journaling is effective, low cost and efficient. It is a way to understand yourself, a way to hold a conversation with yourself, a way to gain clarity and a way to work through grief, set goals and access your creative nature. Here are four journaling strategies to change your life:

1. Write a letter you will never send. Letter writing has long been used in counseling as a way to say the things you have never said to those who have hurt you. Use your journal to write a letter to a parent, a lover, a sibling, an abuser, and say everything you have ever wanted to say. Don’t edit yourself. This letter is not meant to be sent, instead it is meant to help you release long-held anger, grief, fear and sadness.

After you write the letter, you may choose to read it to a safe person who can witness your experience and feelings. Or, you may decide to burn it, rip it to shreds or plant it in the ground with a new tree or rose bush sending its roots down through your words, allowing the pain in your letter to be transformed into beauty.

2. Ask the kid. Another technique helps us get in touch with the child part of ourselves. It works like this: Using your dominate hand, write a question, you think your child-self might have insight about. Use your non-dominate hand to write a response. For more information about this kind of journaling check out the work of Lucia Capacchione.

3. Get to sleep. When you wake up at two in morning with your mind in a swirl and anxiety clutching your gut, use journaling to do a data dump. Keep a pad and pen by the bed, turn on a soft light and spill out everything you are thinking. Don’t edit yourself. Don’t worry about spelling or punctuation, or if any of it makes sense. Just dump it on the page. There is something almost magical about externalizing your fears. Try it. It works.

4. Rev up creativity. In Julia Camaron’s book, The Artist’s Way, she recommends a simple strategy to help increase creativity and reduce blocks. The process includes three, long-hand pages of writing every morning. Julia says these pages can or even should be whiny and full of mundane concerns. They are not literature. I used this process for several years myself and found it to be every bit as helpful as Camaron claims. Hear her talk about this process.

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  • About The Author

    Lois Schlegel

    Lois Schlegel, MFA, MS, mental health therapist at Life in Bloom Counseling in Medford and Ashland, has 20 years of experience providing services to individuals and families. She has taught parent education and life skills classes to adults and ... Full Profile
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