“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Carl Rogers My initial encounter with radical acceptance took place when I lay down for the first time on a yoga mat. Our teacher, Mari Gayatri, taught mindfulness yoga. She instructed us to follow our breath in and [...]
As far as the brain is concerned, the first throws of love are no different than the high that comes from heroin. In fact, when we fall for someone our brain goes into overdrive producing adrenaline, dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin, powerful naturally occurring brain chemicals that put us in an altered state. Dopamine creates a [...]
Every week I listen to clients tell about partners who scream at them, who ignore them, who demand sex, who call them names or belittle their very being. Sometimes, someone even tells me they have been beaten or raped by the one they love. But all of it, the verbal, the emotional, the physical and [...]
When we are anxious it is usually because we’re fixated on the future. What if? is the mantra. We fret and worry about all the things that could happen. We plot and plan ways to avoid catastrophe. But most of what we worry about never happens. Or, we are powerless to do anything about it. [...]
Your heart pounds. Palms sweat. Mouth is dry. Your stomach may feel sick or your thoughts race. You are experiencing fear. Fear can be both ally and foe. It can inform us of imminent danger and help keep us safe. Or, it can paralyze us and make it impossible to live life fully and realize [...]
This is the season when many of us are taking stock of our lives. The Christmas holiday and another year is behind us and the new year looms with all its promise and possibility. On New Year’s we may make resolutions, to lose weight, stop drinking, follow a budget, spend less time watching television and [...]
We are nearing winter solstice (December 21st) a day that will be the shortest in this cycle around the sun, a day with more darkness than light. When I think of this celestial event it reminds me of the expression, “a dark night of the soul” and how our human experience can parallel the cycles [...]
“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” Jane Howard As an only child, who lost both of my parents by the time I was 25, I have long struggled with a sense that I struck out [...]
Listening to the radio the other day I heard a man describe an organization he created called “The Cloud Appreciation Society” (Listen to this TED Radio Talk Here.) He told about how he and a small group of people often took time to stop and admire clouds in all their billowy, feathery, transitory beauty. That [...]
The winter holidays come in the midst of ever darkening days when long afternoon shadows and cold winds seem to whip up feelings and memories along with the shaggy leaves. The weather and the short, dark days reflect for many of us a season not of joy and celebration, but instead, a time filled with [...]