Tag Archives: resentment

What Keeps Us From Forgiving?

Nelson Mandela once said, “Resentment is like taking poison and then hoping your enemies will die.” This, from a man whose enemies imprisoned him for a good share of his life. If ever a person had the opportunity to learn about resentment and forgiveness, he did. And, apparently he learned that hatred, bitterness and harboring [...]

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Balancing Act: Serving Others Without Abandoning Ourselves

The last couple of weeks we have been discussing ways to detach from people we love who are causing us pain and living lives of dysfunction. We have explored the limits of helping and how in some cases helping can be detrimental both to us and those we love. However, stopping long held patterns of [...]

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When a Loved One Has Problems: Are You Helping or Hurting?

It can be incredibly painful to watch someone we love doing destructive things that damage themselves or others. And part of the pain we feel is often our sense of helplessness. Why can’t we figure out how to help the person we love stop drinking, or gaming, get a job, get out of bed, pay [...]

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Top Ten Reasons Why Trying to Solve Other People’s Problems is a Bad Idea

1. We don’t really know what is best for someone else. Often a person’s greatest growth comes from struggle and pain. If we fix things for those we love, we rob them of the opportunity to meet life’s difficulties and learn from them. 2. We don’t have control. Trying to fix other’s problems means we [...]

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  • About The Author

    Lois Schlegel

    Lois Schlegel, MFA, MS, mental health therapist at Life in Bloom Counseling in Medford and Ashland, has 20 years of experience providing services to individuals and families. She has taught parent education and life skills classes to adults and ... Full Profile
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