Moving On After the Death of Your Spouse

Losing your spouse must be one of the most difficult obstacles life presents to anyone. Some might think that it’s easier when a couple is older because they had more time together, but this is far from the truth. Imagine having your spouse by your side for thirty years, a constant companion and confidante, a best friend and suddenly they’re just gone. 

Death is final; you can’t bargain for more time and, suddenly, you find yourself at a loose end. Each time something significant happens, your first thought is “I must tell him/her” – then you realize, again, that they’re gone. So, what can you do to help you learn to live this suddenly solo life? 

Walking away 

When your spouse takes his or her final breath, one of the most difficult things you will have to do is walk away. Whether they died in the hospital or at home, the time will come that you will have to be separated from their physical form. 

You have to get up and walk out, knowing that you will never again see that face or those hands. Walking away is the first step in what will be a long journey toward emotional wholeness. 

Preparing to say goodbye

Let’s start with the day of memorial service, surely one of the most difficult days you will experience so soon after your loss. In as much as this a very difficult day for you, it does begin the process of getting closure. 

Call on some close friends or family to accompany you; this is not the time for you to alone in your home. If you have grown children who have moved out, ask one of them to stay over with you for a few days to break the vast emptiness you will have felt.

Keeping them close after death

The sense of loss and the emptiness will feel overwhelming at times and you will find yourself longing for a way to feel closer to your lost spouse. 

There is a way you can feel a little closer, in the form of a beautifully made cremation urn, from Memorials.com. Have a look at the beautiful, tasteful options and you can choose a design that you feel is best suited to your memories of your beloved spouse. The range is so vast and there are some particularly unique designs to choose from. 

How about a beautiful mantel clock that doubles as an urn, to remind you of the time you had together? Or you can choose a granite urn, with clean, modern lines; or even a decorative urn in the most amazing range of colors, so it will look right at home in your living room.

Honoring their wishes

If your spouse specified that they wanted their ashes scattered in a particular place, you can honor that but continue to keep the urn in memory of them. You can display it for all to see, or tuck it into the back of your closet, so only you can see it. You may find that initially, you want it hidden and then later you feel ready to have it on display – or vice versa.

Honoring your needs

The way we experience this deep loss is completely unique and it’s important that you go through it in your own way so that you can heal at your own pace. There are no rules for dealing with death, it is a completely personal experience. The most important part is that you are patient with yourself and don’t expect to “just get over it” because there is no such thing. 

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