Welcome back to Three-Word Thursday, where Fish Hack has room for everyone except those annoying people who set the horn level on their automatic card-door lock extra loud and wait until they’re 40 feet away to hit “lock.”
You people make more unnecessary noise than Tax Deduction No. 2 singing with her iPod on.
And don’t chalk that up to automatic door-lock envy talkin’ by a dude who’s rig will be old enough to drink this fall.
Try pushing the little “lock” button on the door, will ya?
Must sound strange, this etiquette lesson from someone who writes the word “douche” in his blog every few weeks just because he can.
But Fish Hack is nothing if not inconsistent.
Inconsistent is also a good word for fall chinook salmon fishing now on the Rogue River, where the removal of Gold Ray Dam quite literally has mucked up the picture.
Regular sediment flow from the demolition site has muddied the middle Rogue enough that fall chinook anglers need rattling K-15 Kwikfish plugs just to get their attention.
“Our water sucks,” opines Dave Bradbury from Bradbury’s Gun and Tackle shop in Grants Pass.
Hardly a ringing endorsement to travel past the upper Rogue, where summer steelhead fishing is anything but that.

Welcome back to Haiku Monday, where Fish Hack is still sleepin’ off the residuals from eight days in Pennsylvania.
HAIKU MONDAY: On Unruly hikers, dirty water laws and Satanic Steelhead.
Welcome back to Haiku Monday, where Fish Hack remains puzzled why soooo many visiting queens, princesses and their attaches are all walking their dogs on the Jacksonville Woodlands trails?
They have to have diplomatic immunity if they all believe that leash laws are for other people’s dogs, not their precious little yippers.
Leash your dog, Goofballs./It’s a law for all you mutts/And bluebloods alike.
For Haiku Monday virgins, this is when Fish Hack busts out a few non-rhymes about whatever outdoor crap is on the frontal lobe this day, and it’s in the form of bad Japanese poetry.
Major pet peeve of Fish Hack is these morons who don’t leash their damn dogs and let them run amok on the trails and in the woods.
Keep them on the leash and on the trail. If not, your Fido might start killing young quail just off the trail.
But perhaps Hack wouldn’t be so hacked off if he could burn some BTUs by going fall chinook salmon fishing on the Rogue River.
The on-going removal of Savage Rapids Dam has kept the middle Rogue muddy and marginally fishable downstream of the old dam site…which happens to be Hack’s favorite chinook haunts.
Gotta wait for the silt to abate.
Yeah, that sucks. But that’s life.
That’s why Fish Hack’s keeping a close eye on the lower Rogue’s halfpounder counts. Lots of these little Satanic Steelhead moving into the lower Rogue in the past two weeks.
Time to hit Agness with a fly rod and a handful of Red Ant streamers to catch these immature steelhead unique to the Rogue.
Wanna learn more about halfounders, how to fish for them around Agness and a cool video on how biologists count halfpounders? Click HERE.
Love catching those stubby steelhead.
Rogue’s halfpounders rock./So much fun, Hack forgives mutts/That crap on his lawn.