BOOK IT! Friday Returns

After a long hiatus while awaiting bail, Fish Hack is back at this-here cyber version of the Fish Wrap reading to bust out haikus on Monday and lay those BOOK IT! bets on Friday.

FIsh Hack ended the 2015 season up $575 and that’s good momentum heading into the new year.

So let’s get to it…

San Diego at Kansas City jumps off the pick-it line at Fish Hack. K.C. has owned S.D. the past two years and always comes out of the gate fast. The game opened at 6 1/2 and that’s when Fish Hack bet it by laying the points before the line inched up to 7. KC should cleanly cover.

Then we have Giants at Dallas. Giants came in earlier this week as a 3 1/2-point fave but it’s been bet down to 1 amid the Dak Scott love-fest. You never know what you’re going to get from Eli, but seriously. If Dak is Da Fact, then how come he went in the fourth round? That vanilla D he’s been seeing is about to get some caramel and sprinkles added to it. Lay the 1 point.

Monday night closes with perhaps the worst game of the season in the new-look Rams at San Francisco. Niners are a emotional dumpster fire these days, but at least their starting quarterback isn’t Case Keenum. San Francisco is getting 2 1/2 points, which is almost half a Blaine Gabbert pick-six but take the points here and don’t tune in.


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BOOK IT! Thursday Edition

Here’s the BOOK IT! Friday, Thursday edition, just cuz Fish Hack wanted seconds from that Thanksgiving bet on the Lions to Bip Chip.

And oh they did.

But Hack didn’t see that Packer egg-laying act coming on six hours later.

Now Detroit and Green Bay get at it this evening, and Fish Hack knows you steelhead bums need some action on this.

First, Detroit’s getting three points at home. I know the Lions haven’t swept GP since just before Clinton was sworn into office. But they’re on a roll under The Coot calling plays.

Take the points in another game that could come down to an on-side kick.

The under-47 points also looks do-able. It was 18-16 at GB. Figure to see it a little higher than last time, since Stafford can be a wizard at turning touchdowns into field goals.


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BOOK IT! Thanksgiving: Three Turkeys Pickings with the Fixings

Welcome to a special BOOK IT! Thanksgiving edition where Fish Hack will give you three winners for Thursday’s turkey games.

After another 2-1 weekend, Fish Hack’s sitting at 23-19 for the season and ready for three more wins.

First, there the Eagles at the Lions. A lot has been made about the Eagles’ 6-0 Thanksgiving record in this pick-’em game, but none of those included the read-option.

These are teams trending in different directions, and the Lions’ defense has been pretty tight this past month. Trojan fans cheer for the Lions to help ease the Chipster out of Philly and over to LA-LA Land.

Dallas is hosting what punsters believe is the worst 10-0 team the NFL has ever seen. They were also the worst 3-0, then 4-0 and even 8-0 team.

They’re not going to run the table, and if there’s a miss its in Dallas and in front of the world. Take the ‘Boys in this pick-’em game as well.

The night concludes with Green Bay hosting Chicago on Brett Favre night. They’ll be a lot of kissing and making up among the Cheeseheads and their once Favrite misspelling and they’ll be a lot of love in Lambeau.

But the Packers are laying 9 points in a game against a Bears team that’s finding ways to score. Cutler is a notorious back-door cover girl, but it’s hard to put money on a team that started its fire sale in Week 3.

With the over/under at 45.5, a 30-23 Pack win is a cash for the over.



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BOOK IT! Friday: Bet One Backup, Dump The Next

Welcome back to BOOK IT! Friday, where Fish Hack is back in the saddle after being out of cell range while fishing Oregon’s Elk River last week.

Good week to skip, seeing how dogs went 11-3 straight up and 12-2 against the number.

Had Jax last night and that puts Fish Hack to 21-18 for the season, ready to add three more.

First, Denver’s getting 1.5 points at Chicago, which has surprised Vegas this year after undergoing an early-season fire sale. But Jake Cutler is ready to go Peyton Manning and throw a gross worth of pics against the best defense he’ll face all year. Take Denver.

Atlanta’s laying 6 at home to a Luckless Indy. Matt Hassleback’s wife could pass for more yards than he will Sunday. Lay those points, plus take the under 47.5 cuz this-here snoozer could be 30-3.



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BOOK IT! Friday: Playing with House Money, Not House Payment

Welcome back to BOOK IT! Friday, where Fish Hack is coming off a perfect 3-0 Sunday to get back in the black for the first time since Week 1.

It’s always nice to play with house money instead of house-payment money.

Let’s get at it…

First, Peyton’s headed to the Oil Can That Manning Built and though the old Tin Man can use a little oil for that stuck neck, don’t expect fond memories to flood that massive forehead. Indy couldn’t block a bad defense. Denver made Rodgers look pedestrian and they’ll more than do so to Luck. Denver’s laying just 4 points and they should more than cover on that one.

A hot Raiders team heads to Pittsburgh, which is having all sorts of offensive injuries. Oakland’s getting 5 points and they’ve historically covered against the Steelers. Look for that 5 points to really matter here.

And finally, New England is at home against the Redskins, who have a history of failing to show up in Foxboro. Brady’s on a mission and Curt Cousins is ready to remember that he’s Curt Cousins and not Curt Warner. Lay the 14 points. The Pats will be up that by the second quarter.


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HAIKU MONDAY: On Perfect NFL Bets. Steelhead? Not So Much

Welcome back to Haiku Monday, where Fish Hack did better in the BOOK IT! picks than on upper Rogue steelhead during what used to be called the Nov. 1 Massacre.

Now, it’s little more than a skirmish.

First day back with bait./Used to hammer Rogue steelhead./Lighter catch these days.

For you Haiku Monday virgins this is when and where Fish Hack waxes on and off non-Brazilian style about the outdoors and whatever the hell else comes to mind, with some bad forms of old Japanese poetry sprinkled in as the shtick.

Went 3-0 on the NFL picks Sunday, and that puts Fish Hack in the black. Gotta love nailing a three-team parlay to keep from having to take the empties back to stay in beer money.

Lo so many years ago, No. 1 was a cherished day on the upper Rogue, when steelheaders started bait-fishing again after two months of flies-only. 20-fish days. were not unheard of. But the rules changed close to 20 years ago and modified, so now only the upper Rogue upstream of Shady Cove is open to bait until Jan. 1.

Hack and newly retired AP writer Jeff Barnard don’t care for crowds and prefer to side-drift yarns balls over guts anyway. Was alone in our float downstream of Shady Cove, going a somewhat pedestrian 6 for 13.

Five of those lost fish were after getting visuals. Four of them disappeared after aerial cartwheels, including one that had to be more than 10 pounds.

Normally, don’t like losing that many fish. But an epic day anyway. Especially getting a stretch of the Rogue to yourself on a Sunday.

No Sunday fishing?Felt like breaking commandments./Fish the Rogue alone.

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BOOK IT! Friday: Three-Teamer for the Cash

Welcome back to BOOK IT! Friday, where Fish Hack is still two games under .500 after splitting last week’s picks. Shoulda been 3-0-1, but the Lions did it again.

Cutting to the chase…

First, Fish Hack’s looking at Atlanta at home laying 7 to a Tampa Bay team that goes as JW goes. He was good in last week’s loss, just missing 300 yards but more importantly no picks. Atlanta has a knack for winning but not covering at home. Tampa Bay has a knack for losing on the road, but covering. This has all the makings of a back-door cover, so take the points.

Minnesota is getting 1.5 points at Chicago, strictly because these teams often swap home wins in this series. The Vikes are coming off a nice come-front-behind-to-cover win at Detroit. Normally, two straight division road games can be tough, but look for Minnesota’s good secondary to leave Cutler with the leaderless gaze that’s been the hallmark of his career. Take Minny.

In the afternoon games, likin’ all three but the Raiders getting 3 points at home against the Jets looks like stealing kindergarteners’ Halloween candy. Raiders are on a roll, tough at home and the AFC East has a history of struggling when hitting the Left Coast. God Raiders!


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BOOK IT! Best Bets for Steelhead Bums

Let’s get down to business so you steelhead bums have some beer money this week without a trip to the return center.

First, there’s the Vikings laying 3.5 points to Kansas City, where the wheels are starting to fall off. Only one team can run the ball in this game, and it’s the Vikes. Lay the points.

Now, the Lions have been a train wreck so far this season, but they won’t go 0-18 again. They got to take out their frustrations out on someone so it might as well be at home against Chicago, which is in a fire sale season. Lay the points.

Cincy goes to Buffalo as a 2.5-point fave and the Bills will be down to E.J.  Manuel at QB. Good defensive game won by Cincy by a field goal. Lay the points.

Now, the Hype Game is New England laying 7.5 points to Indy. A lot has been made about the Patriots putting a whuppin’ on the Colts for causing Deflate Gate,. Brady rarely eases up on anyone, let alone an organization that has embarrassed him like no other. Pats in a romp.


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BOOK IT! Friday: Play These Winners or Take Back Those Empties

Once again here we are at BOOK IT! Friday, where Fish Hack offers you steelhead bums some NFL picks so you don’t have to make an empties haul down to the recycling center for next week’s beer money.

Went a pedestrian 2-2 last week to stand at 6-8 for the season, but Hack’s got a suite of games that should put us over .500 by Sunday afternoon.

First, there’s Tampa Bay laying 3 to Jacksonville. Now, Hack’s not a big fan at betting good money on bad games, but gotta grab a seat off the Winston bandwagon here. Bortles ain’t much better, but he won’t throw a pick-six like Winston seems to enjoy doing. With the pick-six, the score just might be 9-3. So take the points with Jax and go ahead and take the under 43 total.

The NY Giants are laying 6 1/2 points at San Francisco. The Giants are better than their record, and the Niners are worse. There’s one quarterback in this game and he’ll more than cover the touchdown. Take the Giants.

Then travel down The 5 to see San Diego laying 3 points to Pittsburgh. That point spread means Vegas thinks they’re even teams with the 3 points going to the home squad. Vick will come back down to earth and realize he’s an aging has-been, so look for him to play that way. Lay the 3 poiints and that 45.5-point under looks pretty inviting as well.


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BOOK IT! Friday: A Four-Play for the Day

Welcome back to BOOK IT! Friday, where Fish Hack is back in gear with the Baltimore win that you Twitter-heads got just before kickoff last night.

Now Hack’s a verrrrrry pedestrian 4-6 on the season and looking forward to a hot October to get deep into the money.

This weekend’s looking fine for some parlays.

First, we got Cincy at home laying 3 1/2 to a wobbly Kansas City team that is coming off a shellacking. Cincy’s the real deal until playoff time and it’s easy to give the Chiefs just over a field goal in what should be an easy win.

Then there’s San Diego laying 7 1/2 points to Johny Eight Ball and the Browns. Run around all you want, little man, ‘cuz turning touchdowns into field goals on the road is a recipe for a double-digit win for Fish Hack and the steelhead bums.

The opposite will happen when Green Bay visits Da Bay laying 8 1/2 points to the 29′ers, who are 20 points worse post Harbaugh and in need of a name change. Rodgers will light up the Santa Clara sky and the only real bet is the over-under of 2 for Colin pick-sixes.

Wrapping it up ins probably the best bet of the week with Arizona at home laying 6. 1/2 points to the Rams. Sure, the Ram bandwagon got some butts in the seats after that Week 1 win verses Seattle, but that win’s looking just as lame as St. Louis since then. As long as Palmer is upright, the Cards will rock through the NFC West so lay those points.


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  • Blog Author

    Mark Freeman

    I've underachieved as the Mail Tribune's Fish Hack since 1989. I can't help but find a few things to yuk about with pathetic regularity in the outdoors. My most treasured award? An OSHA citation for a messy desk -- Fire hazard. YEAH! Read Full
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