HAIKU MONDAY: On Meat Fishing the Rogue Bay

Welcome back to Haiku Monday, where Fish Hack is laying low at the Fish Wrap for a few days of R&R before heading down to the Rogue River bay for a weekend of meat fishing.

Chinook and perhaps a coho with a missing fin, as long as it’s big enough.

Fish the bay for meat./Need fillets for the smoker./Bay trolling fills it.

For you few Haiku Monday virgins still out there, this is when and where Fish Hack waxes on and off non-Brazilian style about the outdoors, with a few bad forms of old Japanese poetry tossed in as the schtick.

Cuz you need a schticks/To stand out in blogosphere./Too much noise on web.

Fish Hack goes through a few killing fits annually, with one the last weekend in September. That’s when Hack and bud Brian have been making a point to troll the bay for chinook and coho.

Two years ago had a 30-fish day. Last year was one bite, but a 30-pounder in the box.

Expect this year to be somewhere in betweeen.

Trolling big anchovies with the Rogue bait rig set-up is the only way to go. Ask bud Jim Carey from the Rogue Outdoor Store to save a few trays of the big ‘uns for us.

The only thing better than a ‘nook trying to jerk your rod out of your hands comes in November, when Hack fly-fishes for chinook at the mouth of Elk River.Epic takes, for sure.

 

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BOOK IT! FRIDAY: Bounce-Back Weekend

Welcome back to BOOK IT! Friday, where the only person having a worse start to this-here NFL season than Fish Hack is…Roger Goodell.

But unlike Goodell, Fish Hack can rebound.

Three game-ending field goals tanked Fish Hack’s first three picks and that’s a sucky way to start the campaign.

This week’s feeling better, because at least there are some trends to work with.

Such as banking on the Raiders taking their normal laxatives when the travel to the East Coast, where they’ve crapped out the past 14 straight games. Even laying 13 1/2, there’s no reason to believe that New England will do anything to change that streak. Lay the points and watch Oakland lay an egg.

And then there’s the Saints. Though a surprising 0-2 they do get home cookin’ and the switch-less Vikings don’t match up with New Orleans in any category except felony indictments.

New Orleans need to run it up on somebody, so it might as well be Minnesota, even though the 9 1/2 points is a bit high.

The interesting thing about this game, though, is that the Saints first two games scored a combined 121 points, easily tops in the league. That makes the 46 1/2 over-under look like it should get eclipsed in the third quarter. Take the over.

BOOK IT!

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BOOK IT! FRIDAY: On Week One Bets, Johnny F-Bomb and Laying Points

Welcome back to the latest iteration of Book It Friday, where Fish Hack steps away from the river and up to the betting kiosk with three NFL picks for the upcoming weekend.

The intent is to give you steelhead bums beer money without having to take all those empties back to the store. And remember, the only difference between gamblers and degenerate gamblers are their records.

Everybody who skipped Thursday’s opening game is undefeated in the season so far. And Fish Hack expects to stay that way for a while.

Two years ago, Fish Hack was up 6 Bennies on $50 bets for the season. Gave most of that back last year, as did most handicappers in what turned out to be one of the most unpredictable gambling seasons in decades.

Time to get Hack back in black..

First, there’s Johnny F-bomb’s first official clip-board tote of his career when the Browns visit the Steelers.

Hard to believe Pittsburgh is just 6 1/2-point faves. Those are some pretty easy points to lay. Take the Steelers, who rarely give Cleveland an end-zone sniff at home.

Another big home fave are the Bears, who step onto the field down 7 points to Buffalo at kick-off.That should be erased by the middle of the second quarter, Cutler to Marshall. Lay the points.

Lastly, there’s San Diego rolling the 10 to Phoenix for the final game of Week 1. Two pretty unlikable quarterbacks on two teams most pundits not called Hack have going to the playoffs.

The interesting thing about Palmer v. Rivers isn’t that ‘Zona’s a field-goal favorite. The over-under is just 45 points. The pick-sixes in this came alone could cover that. Lovin’ that over.

BOOK IT!

 

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HAIKU MONDAY: On The Big Spill That Is

Welcome back to Haiku Monday, where Fish Hack is getting the measuring stick out because the upper Rogue River is finally getting a little extra water.

The releases from Lost Creek Lake to Hack’s home waters of the upper Rogue will inch up day and Tuesday morning, running from 1,500 cubic feet per second to 1,850 cfs.

The change means the fall chinook are coming and the party is about to start in Grants Pass.

More water brings ‘nooks/From the beach to middle Rogue/Many rods will bend.

For you Haiku Monday virgins, this is when and where Fish Hack waxes on and off non-Brazilian style about the outdoors, with some bad versions of old Japanese poetry sprinkled in as the schtick

The “spike” of water normally released Aug. 10 to draw fall chinook through the hot Lower Rogue Canyon without a fatal disease outbreak among them was postponed because the ‘nooks weren’t moving. Then rain and cool weather dropped the river by 6 degrees, emptying the bay of chinook and the run started coming.

With the spike getting put in place, they’ll be coming in droves.

Here come the chinook./Good time to be Grant Passer/Fall chinook’s backyard.

The early fish head to the Applegate, then the middle Rogue. Some of the best fishing will be in Taylor Creek and Hellgate canyons, where anglers already are running into salmon.

It’s a Kwikfish scene, largely because the pikeminnow snot-out roe faster than a Haiku Monday reader hits the X in the right-hand corner of the computer screen.

Haikus make screen crash./Just too many syllables/To remember right.

 

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HAIKU MONDAY: On Rogue ‘Nooks, Water and The Spike That Was Not

Welcome back to Haiku Monday, where the good fishers of Gold Beach are getting a few extra days of good fall chinook salmon success thanks to a biologist slow-playing his water cards this week at Lost Creek Lake.

The spike of water scheduled for release Sunday into the Rogue River didn’t materialize..on purpose.

So say Thank You, Gold Beach, to Pete Samarin.

No spike of water/Means ‘nooks stay in the Rogue bay./Get popped by locals.

For you Haiku Monday virgins, this is when and where Fish Hack waxes on and off non-Brazilian style about the outdoors, with some bad versions of old Japanese poetry sprinkled in as the schtick.

So, here’s the skinny on the low Rogue flows.

Each Aug. 10, the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife orders a spike of water release from Lost Creek Lake to draw migrating fall chinook salmon out of the Lower Rogue Canyon where they are susceptible to warm water-related illnesses in August. The spike cools the river, triggering the upstream migration to cooler wates in the middle Rogue..

For Gold Beachers, them’s fighting words. Freshwater temps in the mid-70s keep Rogue-bound chinook in the cooler waters of the estuary, where anglers troll anchovies and whack ‘em pretty good. The spike, however, draw those fish out of the estuary, killing that fishery.

Instead of just turning on the faucet, Samarin — the ODFW fish biologist who weighs in for the agency on water releases — decided to wait this week.

Regular survey seining of the Rogue at Huntley Park shows that the chinook aren’t heading upstream out of the bay much yet. Instead of cranking up the out-flows, he decided to wait until the chinook start showing up at Huntley Park in decent numbers.

Hands off the faucet./Gold Beachers playtime rolls on./More ‘nooks in the boat.

Huntley Park gets netted every Monday, Wednesday and Friday during late summer. Today’s pull showed very few chinook.

So no artificial drop to Rogue water temps.

But what Samarin gives, the weatherman may taketh away.

Air temps forecast for 81 degrees Tuesday in Medford means the water could cool the Rogue a few degrees on its own. That would trigger those chinook that it’s time to leave the bay and get inland.

When they do, Samarin will order the spike and the chinook playground shifts from the estuary to the middle Rogue.

GP’ers will get their fish soon./’Nooks are coming on their own./Say “bye” to beach..

Gonna wait for the spikedidn’t

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HAIKU MONDAY: On Making Steelhead Fishing Too Easy

Tom "Anthony Bourdain" Erspke with a Rogue summer steelhead, his second ever.

Welcome back to Haiku Monday, where Fish Hack is busy ruining the myth that steelhead are tough to catch, one new angler at a time.

Like Medford’s Tom Ersepke. His brain is totally polluted now on what it really takes to get into summer steelhead.

Guy just catches fish./He sits in the boat, clueless/Steelhead come to him.

For you few Haiku Monday virgins, this is when and where Fish Hack waxes on and off non-Brazilian style about the outdoors and whatever the hell else comse to mind, with some bad forms of old Japanese poetry tossed in as the schtick.

So, Ersepke is an old bud and out Tax Deductions play sports together. Dude never fished til Hack took him to Diamond Lake two years ago and he catches, like, 50 rainbows in one afternoon.

Last year he popped his Rogue River fishing cherry by catching and whacking an 8-pound hatchery summer steelhead, declaring “That was easier than I thought.”

Don’t test steelhead gods./They don’t like rooks kickin” ass./Due to get skunked, Bro.

So Hack takes him Sunday evening on the upper Rogue, Hack’s home waters. Get that bad-karma skunk trip out of the way, Hack says.

Sitting on a plug below Takelma and, BAM, the rod goes down and the acrobatics begin.

A big, bright chromer does a few 4-foot jumps then bee-lines it downstream over the break and into the next chute. Fish Hack gives suit, with Ersepke with the rod butt drilled into his belly-buttom, reeling as fast as he can.

Hack scoops him up — a 10-pound buck that gets a free pass back to the Rogue.

“Not so easy this time, eh?” Hack says.

Ersepke, rockin’ the Anthoiny Bourdain hair, posed for some fish porn.

Next chute and BAM, another monster chromer, but this one cuts Ersepke off on a sharp rock.

He does an epic battle with a fourth 10-pounder before losing it at the boat.

That was in the first hour of fishing, and all before 6 p.m.

Dude fishes the Rogue a total of five hours and gets four steelhead, nothing under 8 pounds.

And all rocking shorts.

No year of casting in the cold rain waiting to get your first bite. The fish of 1,000 casts just come too easy for this former TV foof.

“It’s not supposed to work this way, Dude,” Hack says.

Hack pollutes his mind./Makes steelhead seem so easy,/Dude needs to be skunked.

 

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HAIKU MONDAY: On Heat Waves Not Cookin’ Chinook

Welcome back to Haiku Monday, where Fish Hack is laying low at the Fish Wrap waiting for this triple-digit heat to go back to Dorris where it belongs.

Instead of saying it’s hot as hell, they say it’s as hot as Dorris.

Don’t need a heat wave/At 105, Hack can’t fish./Just write about it.

For you few Haiku Monday virgins out there, this is when and where Fish Hack waxes on and off non-Brazilian style — no, not non-Brazilian as playing defense in the World Cup semi’s — about the outdoors and whatever the hell else comes to mind, with a few forms of bad Japanese poetry sprinkled in as the schtick.

Cuz you need a schtick in this-here blogosphere.

Tripe digits temperatures in mid-July really isn’t that bad. In fact Hack can argue that it’s the best possible time for head-popping heat in Southern Oregon.

That is, if you like chinook salmon.

June or August are months when spring chinook and fall chinook, respectively, are migrating up the Rogue River. Air temperatures that warm at those times could trigger disease outbreaks in the lower Rogue Canyon that can hammer the run.

But July is the tweener time between the late-run springers and the early-run falls. So, if you gotta suck up this kinda heat, it might as well be now.

No chinook, no prob./Let those temperatures sizzle./Just not in August.

 

 

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HAIKU MONDAY: On Early Steelhead and Tyson’s ‘Courf!’ Returns

Welcome back to Haiku Monday, where Fish Hack struggled to get dressed and make that Monday cameo on the Fish Wrap.

After three days of shorts and flip-flops, these-here jeans pulled on like sandpaper and work boots felt like vices.

Monday morning clothes/Scrape and bind tortured torso./And it’s not a suit.

For you few Haiku Monday virgins out there, this is when and where Fish Hack waxes on and off non-Brazilian style about the outdoors and whatever else comes to mind, with a few versions of bad Japanese poetry sprinkled in for the schtick.

Hit the upper Rogue — Hack’s home waters — the other evening for the first summer steelhead trip of the season, and Fish Hack was clearly underwhelmed.

With 214 summers already making it to Cole Rivers Hatchery, you’d think ol’ Hack could run into a couple somewhere between Dodge Bridge and TouVelle. But nothing.

Fish Hack skunked? That’s news/Dude gets down with Rogue steelhead/More often than not.

Used to be a pre-July Fourth fish was a rarity. But the past three years has shown the best June returns to Cole Rivers in at least 20 years.

Now, most anglers want to say it’s the removal of Savage Rapids and Gold Ray dams from the Rogue, two of the biggest dam-removal projects for salmon and steelhead benefits so far in the West.

Courf! as Mike Tyson would say (Don’t get it? Check out the Tyson blog HERE.) you’d think so, but there is no proof. Flow and water temps play juist as key rolls in when steelhead migrate as concrete impediments.

So it’s just a correlation, but one that may get stronger as the years go by.

It’s good to be bummed/When July Fourth fish don’t bite./Nice problem to have.

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HAIKU MONDAY: On High Desert BBall and B.S.

Welcome back toHaiku Monday, where Fish Hack is finally back at the Fish Wrap after a three-day hoop tourney in Bend, where the North Medford varsity girls took no prisoners in a clean sweep of High Desert teams.

Glad to be back in steelhead country.

Can’t leave steehead long./Hack’s a West Sloper for sure./Keep your desert, Bend.

For you few Haiku Monday virgins, this is when and where Fish Hack waxes on and off non-Brazilian style about the outdoors and whatever else comes to mind, with a few forms of bad Japaneze poetry sprinkled in as the schtick.

You need a schtick to stick out in a place where everyone and his sister with a wooden leg has a blog.

Least Fish Hack’s not writing it from the parents’ garage converted into a bedroom.

As for Bend, it’s an enigma for sure.

10-Barrel is the best brewery in Oregon. Great downtown. Hack could certainly do without all the puffy coats in the winter.

But one thing that hacks Hack off about Bend (other than the piss-poor homer referees) is how they treat their downtown river.

The good citizens of Bend have hacked their stretch of the Deschutes and turned it into a summer floatie pond. Sure, it’sa nice thought. But how about taking care of your stream?

How can you ask upstreamers to take care of headwater habitat when you treat your downtown riparian zone like ear hair?

Take care of your stream./Desert bakes Deschutes water./That stretch is B.S.

 

 

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HAIKU MONDAY: On Bad Ties and Downer Steelhead

Welcome back to Haiku Monday, where Fish Hack won’t put in a full effort in the fifth minute of stoppage time for this-here blog.

World Cup Heartbreak Tour./Ties like French-kissing a shad./Should never be seen.

For you few Haiku Monday virgins out there, this is when and where Fish Hack waxes on and off non-Brazilian style about the outtdoors and whatever the hell else comes to mind, with a few versions of bad Japanese poetry sprinkled in as the schtick.

And nothing’s schtickier this Moinday than the World Cup last-second nap by the U.S. team to give Portugal a gift tie one week after Father’s Day.

Instead of watching, Fish Hack shoulda been steelhead fishing on the upper Rogue River, Hack’s home waters.

After 12 straight months of boating at least one steelhead each month, Hack shoulda put that good ju-ju at work to make it 13 straighty instead of trying to channel his inner-Donovan to get the Futbolers something to chant madly about.

Late tie ends big match/Like catching a thin downer/It counts, just barely.

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  • Blog Author

    Mark Freeman

    I've underachieved as the Mail Tribune's Fish Hack since 1989. I can't help but find a few things to yuk about with pathetic regularity in the outdoors. My most treasured award? An OSHA citation for a messy desk -- Fire hazard. YEAH! Read Full
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