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Mark Freeman
I've underachieved as the Mail Tribune's Fish Hack since 1989. I can't help but find a few things to yuk about with pathetic regularity in the outdoors. My most treasured award? An OSHA citation for a messy desk -- Fire hazard. YEAH! Read FullCategories
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- Still no ruling in federal court today on whether prep work for removing Gold Ray Dam from the Rogue River can continue. Stay tuned... 2010-07-27
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HAIKU MONDAY: On Savage Rapids, First Runs and The Smithsonian
Welcome back to Haiku Monday, where Fish Hack’s net worth just tripled now that his driftboat is so famous that the Smithsonian might be asking for it.
That’s what happens when it’s the first boat in more than 88 years to negotiate Savage Rapids sans dam.
Setting history:
First boat through Savage Rapids.
That’s worth some mean coin.
For Haiku Monday virgins, this is when Fish Hack drops a few non-rhyme poems Japanese-style about all that’s fishing and boating in Southern Oregon. It’s all part of working at this-here cyber version of this-here Fish Wrap, the closest thing to an honest job that Fish Hack has had since scalping tickets at Detroit Lions football games in the Barry Sanders years.
Think of this as the equivalent of arthritic origami…sure, it fits the genre. But to call this art is like calling a coma a good week’s sleep.
But the story du jour is the reconstituted Savage Rapids, where the Rogue River is now running free for the first time since the dam was built in 1921. More than half the dam’s demolished and on Friday, demolition crews redirected the Rogue through the open area and into its original channel for the first time in 88 years.
Fish Hack sat at the top of the new rapid in the family driftboat, waiting to do a story on the first idiot to run it.
Turns out, the only idiot to run it first is was this one.
Hate makin’ the news.
But no on else would do it.
Hack sets history.
Check out a short column on it HERE
There’s also a video shot from inside the boat as we ran it that you can see HERE.
Ran that sucker blind as boulders the size of obese children dribbled downstream.
All the demolition crews watched, even gave the thumbs up. Film at 11.
Fish Hack’s Willie Boat is all of 18 years old, and washed just once 16 years ago. Took two days to get the friggin’ soap out, so no more of that.
So the boat’s worth maybe $3,000 if sold through Classifieds. Buyer finds out it’s a Fish Hack original and the price likely skyrockets to… $3,020.
But the world watched this boat be the first through Savage Rapids, so it’s a piece of history. An Antiquity, if you will.
Like Fonzi’s leather jacket and the Apollo 9 module, this sucka is destined for America’s Museum of Crap That Once Mattered And No Longer Does.
First boat through Savage.
Hack’s piece in history set.
Won’t sell boat, ever.