Welcome back to Three-Word Thursday, where Fish Hack is well entrenched in the DTs during this cold-turkey withdrawal from football now that the Super Bowl is over and life again feels like one big ice-cream headache.
Action. Non-Degenerates. Immoral.
College and pro football aren’t just pastimes at this Fish Wrap and others across the nation. It’s a cottage industry, a cesspool of bettors and propositions, with Fish Hack usually wading in the deep end.
It’s called … action.
For the Non-Degenerates, action is having a vested interest, usually financial, in the activities and outcomes of events that otherwise would play out completely independent of the Degenerate.
With action, the Degenerate becomes part of the game without ever having to put the brew down, let alone get into shape.
The NFL provides a smorgasbord of action. With it gone, the Degenerate has to seek it out himself. And everything’s got action possibilities.
$5 says my desk phone rings before yours. $10 says the Rogue River flows at Gold Ray Dam are under 1,700 cubic feet per second today. No? OK, you take the under and I’ll take the over.
I even bet some bodybuilder at the gym $10 this week that she’d get her driver’s license suspended before May 15.
And I don’t even know her.
But I don’t care. ‘Cuz I got action.
And don’t for a minute believe it’s immoral.
Suits call it “Playing the Market.” They phone in their stock buys hoping the Dow comes through for them and consider it The American Way.
Fish Hack calls in … a parlay. Saints, plus six. Total over 57. Field goals over 3 1/2.
Just because the guy Fish Hack calls only has a nickname and a cell phone doesn’t make this transaction less moral than if Charles Schwab were involved.
Jump on in, Stock Boy. There’s room here in the deep end.
Ooooh. That ice-cream headache is starting to go away…
