Welcome back to Three-Word Thursday, where Fish Hack is awaiting today’s start of a three-day storm that should have Southern Oregon’s steelhead streams replacing Kirstie Alley as the working definition of the phrase “out of shape.”
Shape. Kirstie. Rogue.
Heavy rains are destined to blow out the Rogue River, pushing Fish Hack’s home waters to their highest levels of the young rainy season.
Put the steelhead rods away, boys, because it’s gonna be a while before the streams drop and clear enough to fish. Expect the Rogue to pull into shape some time next week.
Kirstie Alley? Not so much.
And just how Kirstie-ish are we talking here?
The Rogue at the old Gold Ray Dam gauge will swell to 9 ,000 cubic feet per second later today and then bloat to more than 15,000 cfs Saturday.
Flows at Dodge Bridge will bulge to more than 6,000 cfs today and balloon to more than 10,000 cfs Saturday.
The Agness area of the lower Rogue is where the Rogue will really pack it on. The river there should expand several dress sizes to about 45,000 cfs Sunday.
But at least it’s all water-weight, unlike you-know-who.
And for today’s special Thursday Edition of BOOK IT! Friday, Fish Hack will stay with the Kirstie Interstate theme for tonight’s New Orleans at Atlanta game by playing the OVER at 55.
Yeah, Fish Hack’s risking that 14-7 record against the spread just to make one more fat joke.
But just like referring to yourself in the third person, you gotta stick to your schtick.