Here we are again at Three-Word Thursday, where Fish Hack can “shed” a little light on why Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis (allegedly) used deer-antler spray to speed up his recovery from a triceps tear to compete in Sunday’s Super Bowl.
He could have made it back two weeks earlier had he used elk-antler spray. Bigger critter with way-larger antlers. But the creamy white butt he’d develop would have been a sure give-away.
Creamy. Performance-Enhancer. Bother.
The concept that deer-antler spray would somehow give someone an illegal leg-up over non-sprayers is as astonishing as it is under-used.
The spray that Lewis as well as several Alabama players allegedly used before their 2011 football championship is banned by the NFL and NCAA as a performance-enhancer.
Who would have known that a little forked-horned buck could give Lewis just enough to win a Super Bowl on the eve of his retirement.
The lesson here is Mr. Parks and Rec Hoopster: Buck up, literally. Maybe your can use some PEDs to elevate your jump shot enough to slip two dimes under your shoes.
And to Crappie Roll-Caster among the fly-fishing ilk, maybe deer-antler spray can elevate your lame-ass roll cast to 14 feet instead of the historical 6.
Elk-antler spray should get you out there a full 16 feet. Not good enough to tag out on the Applegate River during winter steelhead season, but far enough to scratch a few.
So don’t bother.
Stay tuned to Fish Hack’s Super Bowl bets in BOOK IT! Friday…on Friday.