HAIKU MONDAY: Alternative facts and Bigfoot in the Era of 140 Characters

Welcome back to Haiku Monday, where Fish Hack is here to provide some alternative facts about some basic outdoor concepts that Hack has tweeted or printed in the Fish Wrap.

On Mondays, alternative facts also come in an alternate form of communication…in this case, 17 syllable lies.

 

Steelhead are like bass.

Water flows uphill, at times.

Salmon just looooooooooooooove dams.

 

For you Haiku Monday virgins, this is when and where Fish Hack waxes on and off non-Brazilian style about the outdoors and whatever else comes to mind, yet in the form of badly worded Japanese poetry as the schtik that keeps on schtiking.

Alternative facts have become quite the rage of late, largely because they don’t require any real basis and can easily be honed to provide proof that Neil Armstrong walked on a sound stage at Area 51 and that passing on Kevin Durant to take Greg Oden in the 2007 draft was not only a better short-term plan for the Trail Blazers, it’s penciled out long-term even better.

They’re so much easier to work with than actual facts, which can be messy and contradicting and, well, elusive. Even in the Era of 140 ┬áCharacters.

 

Hear it here from Hack:

Bigfoot has gotta be real

“Cuz I tweeted it.

 

Call Fish Hack old school, entrenched in a time when facts didn’t have alternatives yet still offered room for opinions on their relevance.

Also known as…2016.

 

Steelhead have arrived.

Upper Rogue flows in good shape.

And that’s the fact, Jack.

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  • Blog Author

    Mark Freeman

    I've underachieved as the Mail Tribune's Fish Hack since 1989. I can't help but find a few things to yuk about with pathetic regularity in the outdoors. My most treasured award? An OSHA citation for a messy desk -- Fire hazard. YEAH! Read Full
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