Welcome back to Haiku Monday, where Fish Hack is rolling in shorts and flip-plops, and that’s a bad thing beyond the pasty appendages.
It’s not supposed to be mid-60s in late January.
Snowpack’s sucking bad./Boarder son needs to catch air./Must travel to Bend.
For you few Haiku Monday virgins out there, this is when and where Fish Hack waxes on and off non-Brazilian style about the outdoors and whatever the hell else comes to mind. The bad forms of old Japanese poetry is the schtick to stick out in Internet Crapland.
Tax Deduction No. 1 is a top snow bum like the Old Man is a steelhead bum…except OM gets paid for it and TD#2 hopes to match that some day.
The kid can bomb on the hills. Fish Hack doesn’t ski or snowboard, so most of what Hack sees of TD#2 in action are short vids of tricks — any of which would get him banned from Mt. A for a year.
Front flip, then back flip?/Better carry twenty bucks:/Hospital co-pay.
Did see him go aerial during last spring’s state championships at Mt. Bachelor in the midst of a snowstorm.
Hack dons the bloody yellow Gortex boat pants and mingles with the Snow People on the hillside next to the 60-foot jump. TD#2 stops by during a practice run and I asked him if he has his tricks planned.
“I’m gonna do a front flip off the big jump,” he says. “I’ll get DQed, but I’ll win the crowd.”
Did a 360 instead.
The Flying Tax Deduction and the rest of his teammates are doin’ the big practice commute to Bend for the foreseeable future. Mt. Ashland’s snowless and the forecasts aren’t looking like that’s changing.
Tax Deduction woes:/Sucks to be a Fish Hack spawn/If you can’t catch air.