Sitting at an office desk, alone with his thoughts, the President of the United States writes a letter about an upcoming battle, one during which he knows that blood will be spilled. Suddenly, a would-be assassin appears and fires a pistol shot … which the president avoids with Matrix-like artistry.
The gun useless, the assassin shows his fangs and a fight to the death ensues before the president prevails. Welcome to the world of “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter,” a novel by Seth Grahame-Greene (“Pride and Prejudice and Zombies”) that depicts our 16th president entering an arena before only safe for high school cheerleaders.
The video is a commercial pitch for the novel. Yes, a movie version is planned. Followed, no doubt, by the video game.
What is it about Abraham Lincoln that captivates our society to this extent? At or near the top of the list of most-admired presidents, of course. But fighting vampires? Heck, it was strange enough when Honest Abe fought a duel with George W. Bush on “Robot Chicken.” But at least they battled with lightsabers; so there was some logic behind it.
Still, no president has popped up in pop culture in as many variations as Lincoln. And we’re not talking legit biopics here. It’s one thing for Raymond Massey or Henry Fonda or Liam Neeson to portray Lincoln in a historical drama; it’s quite another for Abe to show up on the bridge of the Starship Enterprise, or at the birth of Superman or joking around with The Muppets … not to mention TV visits to “The Time Tunnel,” “Red Dwarf” and the series “The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer,” and movie roles in “Bedazzled,” “Night at the Museum” and “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.”
Lincoln shows up everywhere. He’s in the cartoon series “The Grim Adventures of Bill and Mandy,” in the “Fight Club” video game, and in the music video “The Ultimate Showdown of Lemon Demon.” It all makes the talking statue of Lincoln in Disney’s “Hall of Presidents” quaint by comparison.
Lincoln’s status matters here, as does his physical bearing. Lincoln looks like an iconic figure. Even if he weren’t so central a figure in our history, he has a presence that stays with you. Sure, John Adams got a Broadway musical and an HBO miniseries … but Lincoln has the cult-status cool of being on “Doctor Who.”
Let’s face it, Warren G. Harding could walk onto the set of “The Late Show With David Letterman” tonight, do three minutes of stand-up and no one would know who he was (only that he’d be funnier than Jay Leno). Richard Nixon’s moment on “Laugh-In” and Bill Clinton playing the sax on “Arsenio” are nothing compared to Lincoln’s ability to remain fresh in our cultural landscape.
No wonder there’s a hidden shrine to Lincoln in the “Fallout 3″ video game … the guy slays vampires.
