It’s a cosmic event of galactic proportions this week for stargazers. No, not the the Perseids meteor shower, although I’m sure that will be worth seeing as well.
The true event starts this weekend when the summer movie season presents us with a pair of openings that says everything there is to say about the crassness of mainstream entertainment in the early 21st century. For, you see, this week it’s the battle of “Eat Pray Love” vs. “The Expendables.”
“Eat Pray Love” is based off Elizabeth Gilbert’s best-selling memoir of finding herself again after a bitter divorce. The book is subtitled “One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia.” The movie stars food, travel, clothes, romantic lighting, mood music and Julia Roberts.
If it had just stopped there, that would be fine. Popular book, made into a summer film aimed at a particular audience, starring a popular actress. But auxiliary industries are starting up timed to the movie’s release. Thus, we’re seeing “Eat Pray Love” travel packages, recipe suggestions and fashion tips.
It’s a marketing machine hiding behind the search for inner peace. All it’s missing is an “Eat Pray Love” action figure.
Speaking of action figures, “The Expendables” decided to put them all in one movie. The mercenaries go hunting exlpodarama stars guns, knives, fireballs, blood, screaming, armored vehicles, and Sylvester Stallone.
And Bruce Willis. And (in a cameo) Arnold Schwarzenegger. And Mickey Rourke. And Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews, Jason Stratham, Randy Couture, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin and, in a bit of weird irony, Eric Roberts, brother of Julia.
Things go boom in “The Expendables.” That’s pretty much the plot. There aren’t likely to be an “Expendables” dinner menu or clothing line.
The sitcom episode writes itself, actually, as the couple decides to go to the movies and trite hilarity ensues over whether to see one movie or the other. It’s Hollywood counter-punching at its finest. So, here’s a suggestion:
If you find yourself stuck in such a situation, compromise and go see the third major release this weekend, “Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World.” It’s the story of a young man who has to prove himself worthy of the woman he loves by conquering each of the bad boys of her past.
Something for everyone, and not a Roberts in sight.
